trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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