They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dick very happy bro
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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