I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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