Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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