Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
