People in love make me want to vomit
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
