if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
