are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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