I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
