If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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