the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
