K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
