Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i drank out of a bidet.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
