Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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