The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
