What a fucking waste of an outfit
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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