Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
