you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
