If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
