My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
