i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
