How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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