no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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