Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
