I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
