lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
