my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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