scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
