just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
