At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
