You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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