maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
