North Korea, Best Korea!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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