It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
