No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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