my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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