Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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