HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
