Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
