Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
