i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
