I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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