We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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