I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if only i could text you this smell
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
