we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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