Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
