I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
