my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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