im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
