I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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