i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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