Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
