OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
