I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
